What Our Divided Country Needs Right Now
At kitchen counters , dining room tables and in my NYC therapy room, I have been privy to countless conversations about the many problematics of Donald Trump. The vast majority of these conversations have taken place with people who share similar values to mine. Even if their political party is different, there has been a shared sentiment of horror in seeing our polarized country move to a more extreme and dangerous place with Donald Trump leading the charge.
Perhaps it is the therapist in me but I leave these conversations thinking about the people who are not in agreement with me. It is so hard for me to connect to what about Donald Trump resonates with people. I was part of the naive bunch that felt optimistic going into the 2016 election, thinking to myself, there is no way our country would elect this bozo.
Since 2016, I have been trying to understand Donald Trump’s appeal. I can recall the countless pieces written about Donald Trump’s narcissism after the election, which is a useful framework of understanding but only to a certain extent. No narcissist is that charming to have so many people under his spell.
I operate under the belief that Donald Trump is a symptom of something wrong in our country that must be addressed. For some, he is a savior. For me, he is the identified patient. The problem can’t be just one person, it’s the whole system! It is only when we understand his appeal and move towards it that we can defeat the bully and begin to repair our country. Just as I write about elsewhere on this site in pieces that are more therapy-focused, curiosity is key for any relationship to be constructive.
A dear supervisor of mine, Dr. Steven Reisner, spoke to this very topic in his Slate piece about tonight’s debate. He focuses on how Kamala Harris can win the debate, the election, and ultimately begin to heal the country by speaking to the core issue of what is wrong.
A large part of our country has felt alone in their suffering for a long time. They have felt hungry for someone to see them, stick up for them, and have found this, in Donald Trump. He makes promises to fight for them and to give them what they long for and they find pleasure in his bullying, as he attempts to take down the people in power who have long neglected them.
What those of us who are afraid of what Donald Trump will do to democracy know is that his promises are empty. His promises are empty and he will not bring care and attention to those who are struggling. My hope is that our country uses Donald Trump as a lesson and makes use of what his followers are looking for.
Dr. Reisner writes that in order to bring America “back to reality” that Kamala Harris must, “declare herself the person to help all struggling Americans” and “continue to make clear that her campaign is not about what divides, but about what unites”. I really hope she can.
