Relational Therapy

Inherent to therapy is the therapeutic relationship, which, even with the distinctive roles that exist for a patient and therapist, is absolutely a real relationship. Real trust and intimacy is built, real attachment is formed, and the relationship will evolve into something special and unique to the participants. The main difference between the therapeutic relationship and any other relationship is that it exists for the patient. The therapist does have some basic needs in this environment but the decisions in the therapeutic space, big and small, are based on what is beneficial for the patient.

This relationship in therapy is so essential for a few reasons. In a straightforward sense, therapy is more enjoyable when you jive with your therapist and feel a genuine connection. Even though the majority of the focus is on my patients, I feel as though my patients truly know me and feel my authentic presence, personality, and pleasure in our connection. Alongside building a relationship, the dyad also builds trust, which aids the patient in feeling ease and as if they can take some risks with the therapist and go to unexplored and messy places. 

Additionally, as the patient becomes more attached to the therapist, how they do attachment and dynamics in other relationships will begin to show up. This is where the real fun begins. In the therapeutic relationship, everything is fair game to talk about. It is invaluable for a member of the therapeutic dyad to notice something happening between the two of them and to be able to name that, hold it in their hands to look at and explore together live. A patient can learn through this activity what they are bringing to their relationships with others and what blindspots or triggers exist. They can work through these things with the therapist and revisit their origins in order to move through and grow past stuck points. 

For patients who have experienced complex trauma and who did not have a secure base growing up, the secure base of the therapeutic relationship is in itself reparative. The patient will get to experience a consistency, safety, and hands that are big enough to hold them and all that they are bringing. However, in experiencing something they has perhaps never felt, the intimacy and magic of the therapeutic relationship can also bring a lot of grief and sadness, which is important to feel and move through in order for wholeness and healing to take place.