Therapy with Kids
A child therapist has a few important jobs, even beyond helping to guide and care for a kiddo who needs some help. First off, children are symbolic. This means that children show us what they need and what they are struggling with through their behavior and actions. It is the job of the adults in a child’s life to make sense of what is being communicated. For example, if a 6 year old tells their parent, “I hate you”, it could mean so many things depending on what is happening for that kid. Perhaps it’s an expression of security and it means, I am mad at you but I am so safe with you that I feel able to express it. Or perhaps it means, I am having trouble with something and I need you to be paying closer attention to me.
When a kid is in therapy, the whole family is in therapy. Regardless of how often there are actual parenting or family therapy sessions happening, it is important to be looking at the child in the context of the greater systems that they are a part of, including home and school, in order to fully understand what they are expressing in their struggle. It’s also important that parents and guardians feel like they have a strong sense of their child’s therapist in order to feel some trust and ease in what is happening in treatment, even if there are details from conversations with the child that are kept private.
Since one of a child’s main languages is play, it is important that a therapist reciprocates with play while keeping their foot anchored to the bigger picture and the circumstances of what brings them into treatment. Therapy should not feel like therapy to a kid. There should be laughter, art, spontaneity and connection. That is what creates the opening and opportunity for a child to feel secure enough to explore harder and messier internal places.